FAMILY....DOES IT REALLY EXIST ?!?

Family the social unit of society YEAH RIGHT!!! What is like to have the perfect family? you know like those families in movies that have an unbreakable bond and they tell each other everything theere are no fights they just show each other love and remind there kids how much they love them or how beautiful they are nor simply what they mean to them..... TO BAD LIFE IS OTHERWISE

Family what is family ? Should we say we have a family ? In my case NOOOOOOOooooo !!! MY FAMILY IS SOOOOoooo DISFUNCTION AL!!!!!  My mom and dad are always fighting and they never seem to get me and that just makes me wanna run away and go the farthest from my house. I am so dificult to understand? Am I a bad person? Apparently that what my family indicates I am the one who always needs to show a better face and need to do everything and get accused for everything !!! Why ? Why ? JUDGE ME , I am tired, I just want them to hear me out. And to make matter worse they go and tell the rest of my family so I end up being the REBEL CHILD or the UNWANTED child to everyone I am sick of it !! I'm sick of putting this face a lying face of my true emotions and you will say well , tell tem ??? You don't know how many times I have but it ends up being  because your jealous of your siblings or just a BIG FAT LIAR!!!!! And what makes makes it  even worse I don't have a single family member backing me up or it at least feels like that!!!!

What do I want ? I want a mom that is always there for me. The one I could gossip about boys and have that bond like a friend ,  also want her to tell me I am beautiful and being there when I need her to be but to bad all I have is a jealous mother trying to live my life and just looking up flaws to bring me down and she likes making me feel the opposite to what I want UGLY ,NOT WORTH .IT NOT WANTED. AND NOT LOVE. I want a dad that is always there for me and just ask me how I am feeling? instead of always taking my mom side and always judging me and always point at my flaws. This may sound STUPID but I am to the point that I want my dad to tell me not to date or thing like that because I want to know he cares. My sister ,  I want a sister who loves being with me sure we will have banters here and there but instead I have a sister who HATES ME really does I am not exaggerating I had a friend which she stole by the way because she was telling her lies that I was a LIAR a PAIN IN THE ASS that I SHOULD KISS HER ASS cause I don't have a say in her life. A brother he hasn't done anything to me but I will wish he was more like present in my life cause he is always alone in this world and I  try to talk to him  but apparently he is too busy so yeah I want him to want to spend time with me. And to the of my family I want them to see my good things sure I do bad things but why always point the bad? I want them to tell me they love me but not just say show. I want them to understand me and try to see through me what I feel.This pain all of these emotions that are killing me inside but they just to blind to see yeah. But I don't write this to make me sound like a victim No I just write this cause I feel the necessity o like this urge to freaking say what I feel cause I've been bottling it all up for lots and lots of years. Yeah but this has made me stronger and I am partially a little bit happy cause it happens cause I won't do the same mistakes with my future kids or with my future husband YEAH!!!!! This has given me another perspective of life and help me overcome so many obstacle. My point is if you ever feel down ,if your parents don't listen to you ,if you feel the world is coming down on you and you have this weight and nobody seems to care just write and write.  It may sound STUPID but you will feel a lot better cause I feel I'm telling someone figurative speaking of course!!! Your not bottling it all up your taking all of your emotions and draining them into a paper  and it may you seem to you as a paper but is so much more is a sign of a better future and a better you cause at the end that is what gives you and gives me the strength to move on.

A FAIRY TALE ???? !!! ????

What if Life were a fairy tale ? If life were a fairy tale I would be completely happy why ? you would ask I'm tired of so much suffering in the world I wish I could do something but frankly I don't have the power to do so. Why do couple get divorce after they vowed to live life happily ever after together in sickness and in health through good and bad times don't you wish it was a fairy tale with a happy ending that eternal bond between couples that is unbreakable yeah too bad it only appears in movies,  also I dream that one day there will exist this prince charming I swell to see in movies Oh God !! I wish it were true the one who sweeps you off your feet and makes feel like the most beautiful girl in the world and you feel that your  not alone in this big world cause he fills you up with so much happiness you don't need anything else YEAH !!! that feeling where you feel butterfly in your stomach and you cant even describe that feeling cause is just so magical  YEAH I WISH THAT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME but life is tough and reality points otherwise but really ?? how cool would it be to live in a fairy tale ??? I would be thrilled hahaha. ohhhh !! I almost forgot the incredible bond between mother father and daughter that exist in this magical world in fairy tales  is unbelievable I wish I would have that really do ??? Is like your mom and dad are your best friend and they would like die if anything happened to you  but in my case it isn't like that. But I think life isn't perfect for a reason, it took me years to realize that those things makes us stronger and better human being cause the things we been hurt will help us in the future so we we can learn and never make those mistakes EVER AGAIN BUT  THEN AGAIN, LIFE IS TOUGH but I wouldn't  change it because I'm glad thoes thing happen to me because it is who I am today and will inspire me to who I will become even though in some point I wanna be in fairy tale to see what is like. So lets see what my future has in store maybe it would be the one with a happy ending who knows lets hope it is so fingers cross for me hahahah :)

xoxo
Lovely_Amethyst